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Governmentium

This Research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element known to science. This new element, Governmentium (GV), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it a mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called Morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electron, it is inert; however, it can be detected because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction, which would normally take less than a second, to take anytime between four days to four years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of two to six years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes reorganization, in which some of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
In fact, Governmentium’s mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming Isodopes.
This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as the Critical Moreass. When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium, since it has half as many peons, but twice as many morons.

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